Page 34 - IssueNo97

34 Issue #97 February 2021 www.sportsenergynews.com

In The know all the stories in the news media attention how essential relationships
In
My work and personal experience
about the dangers of getting addicted to at Miami University brought to my
opiates ... they’re true.
ZONE horizon. I was living alone in our family are. Since leaving home at 18, I had not
Further disappointments were on the
acquired very many solid relationships
other than with my immediate family.
home with my two awesome dogs,
Harlee, a golden lab/retriever mix, and
I told you how I continued to experience
Chance, a German shepherd/golden lab Coaches and teammates came and went.
mix. We had been renting the house that even while working in the NHL as
and the owners decided that they were players were traded, moved to the farm
team, or were cut. That is the nature
Own Your Relationships going to sell it. I was going to have to of sports, and not until I was removed
move and, in the town of Oxford where
Miami University was, housing was from that environment, did I come to
With Justin Roethlingshoefer limited. I felt like my world was falling appreciate the value of establishing and
apart. nurturing relationships in my life.
hen I was 25 years old, it I chose not to attend weddings, I ended up finding a one-bedroom What do you think of when you
Wappeared that I had everything funerals, birthdays, holidays, and other house in a barely salvageable property. hear the word “relationship?” Most
together. I had graduated with a milestones that are just unacceptable to It was temporary, not my home, so commonly, we think of family —
master’s degree in Exercise Physiology miss. I justified it by saying it was the I didn’t unpack anything. I put all I husband and wife, kids, parents,
from the University of Louisville, sacrifice required to be successful. had in one room and left it. This all grandparents, cousins, etc. If you are in
was running the sports performance My wife had a 40-minute commute happened in June after the hockey work mode when asked the question, you
program at Miami University in Ohio to work each day. Suddenly, at least season was over, so it was a slow time might think of your partners, mentors,
for the men’s Division 1 hockey team, it seemed sudden to me, she began at work. I had a few college and NHL vendors, employees, and co-workers.
had a flourishing business in Florida, spending a couple of nights a week players returning to train with me, but Others would include the friends you
and was involved in a myriad of other in the city where she worked. She it was nothing like the constant flow hang out with. Relationships present
things. themselves in many forms. When you
explained that when I was on a road of players I had around me from fall to
My girlfriend and I had just moved trip, it reduced the amount of driving spring. I was taking so many pills every interact with another person on a semi-
in together and we got married that she had to do. Besides, I wasn’t day that I would come home and pass regular basis, you have a relationship,
summer, right before the season began. even home. Only later did I come to out. My network of players and staff and it can bring significant meaning
I seemingly had my dream job, which I realize that others were giving her the was on summer break and I had not and joy to your life. The health of those
put my heart and soul into. The training attention that I wasn’t. Our life together established any real friendships in the relationships, however, all depends on
what you do with them.
facility was brand new; in fact, I had the deteriorated until the day she said she area. My wife was gone. It was getting
privilege of designing and equipping was leaving me. I was thrown into a to the point where I could barely get out What all relationships have in
it, despite being the youngest strength tailspin because I was so busy with of bed and my only motivation was to common is, if you don’t actively work
coach in a college program. I spoke at my work and building my career that I work with the guys. on them, they will fall apart or fade
major conferences about what I was didn’t see it coming. away. I did this in my marriage. Over
Then one normal day I came home
doing at Miami and different NHL the course of my career, I overlooked
In hindsight, we both could have done and self-medicated with my usual
teams began to express an interest. I my family, friends, and loved ones. My
many things differently and perhaps dosage and passed out, just hoping
loved my life. marriage had to fail before I recognized
we could have salvaged our marriage. the time would pass. When I woke up,
I needed to give my relationships the
The team ended up having a However, that’s why hindsight is 20/20. both my dogs were curled up on my
priority they deserved. It wasn’t until I
championship season. We won the I discovered when a vital relationship shoulders, their heads on my chest, just
found Alyse, my better half, that I truly
conference and playoff tournament, in your life is broken, it can affect you looking at me. It was like they were
wanted to change how I approached
then competed in the NCAA physically and emotionally to the point saying, “What the hell are you doing?
tournament. For my first year on the of desperation. I used the example We need you.” my relationships. The keyword here
is priority… that requires identifying
job, this was an amazing success! The of a significant other, but this is far
I quit cold turkey on the pills right negative behaviors and actions and then
previous five years of pursuing a career too common with friends, immediate
there. I knew I needed a change, and implementing the change needed.
in hockey had finally come to fruition. family, children, and mentors.
that required action. That action and
I was consumed with my career by the It was figuring out the Relationship
I had some injuries from hockey that focus on righting my ship eventually
same unyielding determination that got pillar that the proverbial scales fell
caused persistent discomfort, and the led me to California to work in the
me there. from my eyes so that I realized High
emotional pain of my failed relationship Anaheim Ducks organization. The
Clearly, I was not living the High seemed to exacerbate it. I began to self- sad irony is that I had to leave the two Performance Living revolved around
Performance Life I speak of now. I medicate by taking opiates to dull both that saved my life behind. Thankfully, what I did with it. Understanding that
was excelling in my career, but my the emotional and physical pain. It Harlee and Chance were adopted by an and admitting it is the first step to being
relationships were suffering—with my certainly doesn’t make either go away, awesome family and they are still with able to make those changes.
wife, family, friends, and colleagues. but it helped me to tolerate them. You them today.
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