Page 35 - IssueNo97

www.sportsenergynews.com Issue #97 February 2021 35

Continued from page 34 relationship work, I had to take that Psychology Today also reminds us superficial because you didn’t know
When I met Alyse at a pool in same mindset to all my other pillars. I that healthy relationships are continually how long you would be together. I’m
Florida, we hit it off very quickly. At am responsible for making them thrive nurtured with care and communication. sure other professions may experience
the time, I was still working in Southern in my life, as you are with yours. Each individual should, for starters, feel similar turnover. If so, then you have
California, and her base was in New As human beings, we are wired to confident that their partner is willing to to prepare yourself for the reality that
York City. Bicoastal relationships are live in relationships with other people. devote time and attention to the other. your work relationships may be short
challenging, but the effort we both put Even introverts, although it might They must both also be committed to and make them great while you have
in made the first few months fun and take them longer to admit it, need accommodating their differences and them. Again, all good relationships
full of learning. As the months grew to deep, human interactions. A personal challenges that inevitably emerge. need to be supported.
years, the distance became something connection can bring you so much joy, In the 21st century, healthy For every pillar, but especially
we needed to address. We discussed but it can also lead to pain and anger, relationships are generally marked the Pillar of Relationships, avoid
her moving out to the West Coast or me which is why giving your attention to by a sense of fairness, emotional as procrastination. “When the busy season
finding a different job with the NHL in nurturing healthy relationships is so well as physical — particularly in is over, we’ll go out more.” Or the
an agreed-upon city. Although talking
important. the distribution of chores necessary famous, “When the kids are grown and
and making plans was good, I needed to maintain a household. Partners in out of the house, we’ll get to do more
to change fundamentally to make this When most people think of a strong relationships also feel grateful things together.” What are you going
relationship work. I needed to make relationship, the first type that comes for one another, openly provide and to do if they never leave? Then you
Alyse a priority in my life above my to mind is a loving, romantic one. receive affection, and engage in honest have several relationships to work on.
age-old priority, my career. Brene Brown provides deep insight on discussions about sex. The time is now. A healthy relationship
love, vulnerability, and relationships in
I had to take responsibility for our needs as much attention and discipline
general, as she explains that love is one In healthy relationships, partners
relationship and not assume it would as other priorities.
of the most profound emotions known afford their significant other the benefit
all work out with my partner bending
to human beings. of the doubt, which creates a sense of As you answer the questions here
to my way of doing things. Alyse was being on the same team in life. That at the end of the article, think of
important to me. I needed to make her There are many kinds of love, feeling, maintained over the long term, the payoff. Not only your romantic
the priority in my life and for her to but many people seek its expression can help couples overcome many relationship, but every relationship you
know it, not only by what I said but in a romantic relationship with a difficulties and create stability. Keeping hold dear can be nurtured to a level
even more importantly, by what I did. compatible partner. For many, romantic short accounts and forgiving each other you never contemplated or thought
Thankfully, she did her part, too, as relationships comprise one of the most establishes a strong foundation of possible. Think about how your life
we tried to figure out how to make a meaningful aspects of life, providing a unconditional love. would be if you decreased the strife
relationship work between two busy source of deep fulfillment. The need for and grief in your critical relationships.
professional people. We started setting human connection appears to be innate It takes effort to make a relationship
uninterrupted time together. We put the — but the ability to form healthy, work. While Psychology Today 1. List those relationships you
cell phones away, and we were so in loving relationships is learned. advocates “honest discussions about consider your most important.
tune with each other that we got lost in Some evidence suggests that the sex,” you really need to take this one 2. What emotional word do you use
those times. Sometimes it might have ability to form a stable relationship step further and have honest discussions when to describe each relationship —
only been an hour or two, but they were starts to form in infancy, in a child’s about everything. If you go through the joy, passion, anger, etc.?
so crucial in fostering our relationship earliest experiences with a caregiver work of figuring out how you feel about
along. who reliably meets the infant’s needs a relationship and the actions you want 3. What relationships do you
to take to repair or strengthen it, you consider secure and unwavering?
In Alyse, I found a partner who also for food, care, warmth, protection, need to share that with your partner.
realized it took personal responsibility stimulation, and social contact. Such Having a solid relationship pillar works 4. What relationships do you feel
to make a relationship work. I did my relationships are not destiny, but best if you both talk about what you need help?
part, and she did hers. I remember they are theorized to establish deeply want to achieve, and then work together 5. On the problem relationships,
the words I heard at a wedding once. ingrained patterns of relating to others. on it. write down what you think the issues
Whoever was officiating the ceremony Failed relationships happen for are that prevent the relationship from
said that marriage wasn’t 50-50 - it many reasons, and that failure is often Besides your romantic relationship, becoming stronger?
was 100-100. Each person in the a source of great psychological and these practices apply to your friendships,
relationship had to give 100% of what emotional anguish. Most people have business associates, colleagues, and 6. Have you ever communicated
they had at any given moment in family members too. Also, recognize with the other person in the
order to make the relationship work. to consciously work to master the skills that not all relationships are forever. relationship that you perceive a
Sometimes that varies based on the necessary to make relationships endure They might exist for a couple of years, problem? If so, what was their
day and circumstances, but it needs to and flourish. a season, or even shorter. That’s going response?
average out to 100%. The cliché, “you can’t take your to happen. You can simply outgrow a 7. If you didn’t say anything yet,
relationship, or people move away.
When I finally understood this relationship for granted,” fits well. Sometimes we may need to prune write down what you would like to
concept, Alyse and I created a You have to actively work on your some relationships out of our lives for tell them.
relationship that works, thrives, and relationships. If you have a significant various reasons, so we can blossom in
continues to grow. It certainly became other in your life, are you putting in the other areas. 8. When has a broken or wounded
a foundation for me to hang onto when same effort as you did when you were relationship adversely affected you in
I went through my career upheaval dating? It was very tough for me during all other aspects of your life?
and had to leave the NHL. We had a When we meet someone, it is like the years I spent in athletics. Whether as 9. How do your non-negotiable
smoother transition than we would planting a seed. If you don’t give a seed a player or strength coach, I was quick values fit into your relationships?
to develop good relationships with my
have had otherwise, and I was able the proper water and sunlight, it isn’t
teammates, players, and coaches. It’s 10. Pick at least one or two of your
to leave that part of my career behind going to grow. If you are attentive as
a brutal business when coaches and relationships that need work (you can
me. It also led to the stability I needed the plant begins to form, but you stop
management are always looking for pick all of them if you feel inspired)
to think through High Performance nurturing it, eventually it’ll die. Even
someone faster, stronger, and better and put into your calendar the steps
Living. Having a healthy relationship a plant in full bloom is going to suffer
than what they have on the ice already. you are going to take to improve
helped me to make the connection that, and whither if you don’t keep up with
So sometimes relationships were them.
besides committing myself to have a its care.